Go Eat the Cookie (and Enjoy It)

A few years ago, I was sitting with a friend who was eating a cookie. After the first bite, she immediately started criticizing herself.

"I shouldn't be eating this."

"This is so bad."

"I was doing so well."

The cookie wasn't gone yet, and she had already decided she had failed.

As a functional medicine practitioner, I spend a lot of time talking about nutrition. What we eat absolutely matters. Food provides the building blocks for our hormones, immune system, metabolism, gut microbiome, and overall health.

But there is another part of the conversation that often gets overlooked: our relationship with food.

Many of us have been taught to divide foods into categories of "good" and "bad." We tell ourselves that eating a salad means we were successful and eating dessert means we were not. Over time, food becomes loaded with judgment, guilt, and stress.

Ironically, that stress may not be doing us any favors.

One of the most fascinating studies on this topic was conducted at Stanford University in 2011. Researchers gave participants the exact same milkshake on two separate occasions. The milkshake contained 380 calories both times.

However, there was a catch.

On one visit, participants were told they were drinking an indulgent, decadent milkshake containing 620 calories. On the other visit, they were told they were drinking a sensible, low-calorie shake containing only 140 calories.

The milkshake itself never changed. Only the label did.

The researchers measured levels of ghrelin, often referred to as the "hunger hormone." Ghrelin typically rises before meals and falls after eating, signaling satiety and satisfaction.

Remarkably, participants experienced a significantly greater drop in ghrelin when they believed they were drinking the indulgent milkshake. Their bodies appeared to respond differently based on what they thought they were consuming, despite drinking the exact same beverage.

The researchers concluded that our physiological response to food may be influenced not only by nutrients but also by our expectations and beliefs.

This study does not mean that calories don't matter or that mindset overrides nutrition. It certainly does not mean cookies are a health food.

What it does suggest is that the body is more complex than a simple calorie calculator. Our thoughts, emotions, expectations, and nervous system all interact with the foods we eat.

This makes sense when we consider what we know about stress physiology.

When we eat while feeling rushed, anxious, guilty, or ashamed, we are activating stress pathways in the body. Chronic stress influences digestion, blood sugar regulation, inflammation, sleep, and hormone balance. The nervous system plays a significant role in how well we digest and utilize the foods we consume.

On the other hand, eating in a relaxed state allows the body to shift toward what is often called "rest and digest" mode. Saliva production increases. Digestive secretions improve. Blood flow to the digestive tract increases. The body is literally better prepared to process a meal.

This is one reason I often encourage patients to think about more than just what's on their plate. How you eat matters too.

Do you sit down for meals?

Do you eat with people you enjoy?

Do you taste your food?

Do you feel guilty every time you eat something that isn't perfectly healthy?

These questions matter.

Interestingly, research on eating pleasure has found that people who derive enjoyment from food—through taste, cooking, sharing meals, and positive food experiences—often have healthier dietary patterns and better relationships with food over time.

When I look at the healthiest cultures in the world, I see this principle everywhere. In the Blue Zones, food is not simply fuel. It is connection. It is celebration. It is tradition. Meals are shared with family and friends. People linger around the table. Food is enjoyed rather than feared.

There is a lesson in that.

Health is not created by one salad, just as it is not destroyed by one cookie. Health is built through patterns repeated over months and years. It comes from the meals you cook most of the time, the movement you incorporate into your day, the sleep you prioritize, the relationships you nurture, and the stress you manage.

Perfection has never been a requirement for good health.

So if you find yourself at a birthday party, on vacation, or sharing dessert with someone you love, consider a different approach.

Eat the cookie.

Enjoy the cookie.

Then move on.

No guilt. No punishment. No promises to "start over" tomorrow.

Because one cookie rarely harms your health. An unhealthy relationship with food can.

And perhaps one of the healthiest things we can learn is that there is room at the table for both nourishment and joy.

I'm gonna go eat a cookie! ❤️

Ready to look deeper?

If you’re doing everything right but still not healing, a functional approach can help uncover how your nervous system may be keeping your body stuck.

Book a functional medicine consultation with AK Wellness to create a personalized plan that supports your child from the inside out.

In Wellness,
Alani

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About the Author
Alani Kalfayan, NP-C, is a board-certified nurse practitioner and Seattle functional medicine provider. She specializes in root-cause care for gut-brain health, women’s health, and neurodivergent children, blending evidence-based medicine with personalized, whole-family support.

Sources
Crum AJ, Corbin WR, Brownell KD, Salovey P.
Mind Over Milkshakes: Mindsets, Not Just Nutrients, Determine Ghrelin Response.
Health Psychology. 2011;30(4):424–429.
DOI: 10.1037/a0023467. 

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